Furthermore, some of the personalities that are listed in the dating sites are different from the real people; often there is the exaggeration from some individuals which makes the people seeking companionship to be misled. Online dating often is an expensive affair.

Some dating websites do not give an individual full access to the interested party until all the dating fees have been catered for. Some sites charge up to dollars per month Wright Despite the fact that many online sites, not the prices are that way to ensure there is security on the private chats. However, these are still high charges; online dating needs to be much uncomplicated with bear minimum charges if need be.

Moreover, in the event there are charges to be done, it is only right if the allegations are done once but not consistently. Additionally, some companies track the users by offering them trial periods, but at the onset of the trial period, they ask for credit card numbers. If the individual is not careful and stops the charges when the trial period is over, the company may continue to bill the company. Thus it is essential for the online dating couples to take heed and ensure there are no unnecessary charges on the dating site.

Some dating sites have defended the costs they enroll to the users by noting they always include the charges quotation on the terms and conditions on the site, but many users do not take time to read terms and conditions section. Distance is always a barrier for the online dating couples.

Highest probability the people that meet online and have a connection are in different state or countries. Dating sites have tried to minimize the distance when an individual is looking for a suitable partner but have not managed to close the gap sufficiently. Example, several places have implemented for dating couples to preferably be from the same zip code to ensure they can quickly meet as one of the compatibility interests.

Unfortunately, the distance barrier is noted by many online daters to be one of the most challenging gaps to fill as the travel fees do not often come in cheap for the partners willing to see each other.

Moreover, there is a bond created between couples who continuously see each other as opposed to the couples who have to wait for after a long time for them to meet. Online dating as earlier noted can be deceitful; studies have proved some of the participants are not honest in their profile application and this result to expectations not being met by the people Chiasson Often when an individual connects with another person, they also expect their aspirations to be satisfied with full measure.

Therefore, in the event these expectations are not met, there is frustration realized by the other party. Additionally, in online dating, it is not possible to get the actual feeling of the other person as they only depend on online communication with limited physical visits.

Thus, many people when interaction online they try to hide many of their feelings and emotions to ensure they protect the other person from any unnecessary disappointment. Often many online dating relationships do not last after meeting in person as the person being presented are not the same from those portrayed on the online sites. Given the interactions are not physical, then the party is left to create a mental image of the other side which may not be the actual presentation of the person.

Finding perfect match is always many sites slogan which has over time been rendered questionable after the high number of breakups that happen after the meeting physically. Online dating has been blamed for being a perfect site for scammers who are looking and targeting specific persons Bateson What the scammers are known to do is they create a fake profile and input false information plus photos to target particular persons.

Annoyingly, the scammers may spend even weeks trying to gain the trust of the targeted persons. After winning the confidence of the intended audience, the scammers are noted to come up with an emergency or an excuse to ensure they require the help of the target, upon being assisted they disappear with all the acquired information.

Therefore, a person may be hoping and wishing to get the perfect match online but instead may be hooked up with a scammer whose intent is to cause damage to the individual. Additionally, when data is shared on the dating sites they are stored permanently, thus despite an individual deleting the profile, the information is still kept in the company database for future reference Fiore. This makes it very easy for the scammers as they know upon hacking the system they can be able to get all the needed data.

With the technology advancement and high hacking skills developing to greater heights, individuals who have the habit of sharing too much personal information may find themselves at the danger of being kidnapped or hurt as the information taken by scammers may be used against the individual in a divorce, medical, employment of in custody lawsuit. Online dating has been blamed for creating a chopper mentality among the users.

Upon logging in the site, the site generates possible matches that can be used by the person interested to date Wright Therefore, in the invent there is a problem there is a high likelihood of being dumped and the other person picking somebody else who has less baggage. Although the authors find that online dating sites offer a distinctly different experience than conventional dating, the superiority of these sites is not as evident.

Dating sites provide access to more potential partners than do traditional dating methods, but the act of browsing and comparing large numbers of profiles can lead individuals to commoditize potential partners and can reduce their willingness to commit to any one person. Communicating online can foster intimacy and affection between strangers, but it can also lead to unrealistic expectations and disappointment when potential partners meet in real life.

As online dating matures, however, it is likely that more and more people will avail themselves of these services, and if development — and use — of these sites is guided by rigorous psychological science, they may become a more promising way for people to meet their perfect partners. Hear author Eli J. Finkel discuss the science behind online dating at the 24th APS Annual Convention.

About the Authors. I agree wholeheartedly that so-called scientific dating sites are totally off-base. They make worse matches than just using a random site. They also have a very small pool of educated, older men, and lots more women. Therefore they often come up with no matches at all, despite the fact that women with many different personality types in that age group have joined.

They are an expensive rip-off for many women over My mother and father had very few hobbies and interests in common, but because they shared the same core values, their love endured a lifetime. I met a few potential love interests online and I never paid for any matching service! I did my own research on people and chatted online within a site to see if we had things in common. If that went well, we would have another date.

I am currently with a man I met online and we have been together for two years! We have plans to marry in the future. I myself would probably start looking right away since looking for love online is a lengthy process! I knew this man 40 years ago as we worked in the same agency for two years but never dated. Last November I saw his profile on a dating site. My husband had died four years ago and his wife died 11 years ago.

We dated for five months. I questioned him about his continued online search as I had access to his username. I think he has been on these dating sites for over 5 years. Needless to say I will not tolerate this and it was over.

No-one seems very interested in making an actual purchase or commitment. I notice that all the previous comments are from women only. I agree with the article that says essentially, there are too many profiles and photos. And on it goes. The term Chemistry gets thrown around a lot. Stumbling upon this article during research for my Master thesis and I am curious: Would you use an app, that introduces a new way of dating, solely based on your voice and who you are, rather than how you look like?

makes you laugh. And we are definitely more than our looks. I found my partner online and we had no picture of each other for three months — but we talked every night for hours…. fell in love and still are after 10 years… We met on a different level and got aligned long before we met. So, the question is, would you give this way of meeting someone a chance… an app where you can listen in to answers people give to questions other user asked before and where you can get a feeling for somebody before you even see them?

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This is a blog on computer mediated communication and online dating. The following sample research paper shows how those who engage in online dating undergo a sociological process of reducing uncertainty. Social networking sites have shown to be the main driving force behind online dating and much research has done been on this behalf to show how it is changing the rules of dating, so to speak.

Technology has undoubtedly changed the way that human beings communicate with one another today. As the internet has expanded heavily in the last ten years, so have online products and services that utilize communication on a mass scale. As more users are using the internet, CMC is popular within the context of Social Networking Sites SNS.

Within the realm of SNS, online dating sites like eHarmony, Match. com and even Tinder have also become popular because they are tailored to individuals looking to meet potential mates. According to Gibbs et al , over ten million Americans have a profile on at least one dating website p. Internationally, Match. com has over twelve-million members Gibbs, , p. This new technological landscape of communication poses both risks and opportunities for the user who is looking to find a potential mate.

Moreover, communication over the internet also offers great research opportunities regarding whether traditional studies of communication among humans applies in this online context. One such theory, Uncertainty Reduction Theory URT , predicted that there are seven factors in human exchange and three basic, yet essential, strategies that humans utilize in reducing anxiety when meeting another person Twente, N.

While the implementation of social networking and dating sites have changed the way in which we communicate with one another, the rules of social interaction according to URT still apply, albeit in different contexts. Firstly, it is important to define relevant terms and premises that will aid our discussion. com or E-Mail. Face to Face hereafter referred to as FtF interaction is the traditional face to face interaction that exists among humans where visual cues are present.

A critical premise of our discussion is that people who use online dating sites via CMC are using it in the hope that it will lead to eventual FtF communication. Another important term will be self-monitor. The concept of being a self-monitor will be integral in our discussion of online dating because the information we choose to display online is usually highly selective and for the purpose of attracting a mate for a FtF interaction.

Finally, URT will refer to the classic theory by Berger that theorized that humans use specific strategies and cues before divulging more personal information p. URT will be discussed more thoroughly later in the paper. In our discussion, it is important to review relevant literature regarding technology, use of social media and relationships , communication and online dating in general. Firstly, we will discuss the original theories regarding FtF communication as outlined in URT.

Berger and Calabrese , Dawkins, and Gibbs et al, will give relevant background information and details. Moreover, Twente N. will outline the specific strategies and factors that influence human behavior regarding reducing uncertainty. Gudykunst will also discuss how URT applies within the contexts of different ethnicities and sex. This will allow us to get comprehensive background information. Next, it is important to have a basic understanding of how CMC developed and the early schools of thought that analyzed this interaction Parks, While highly pessimistic, Parks offered evidence that online relationships can not only be successful, but can develop into eventual FtF interaction.

Sheldon will show that interaction on Facebook offers a wealth of information regarding how we deal with uncertainty within a network where we tend to know most of the individuals in person, or have at least met them on one occasion. Also, Sheldon will demonstrate that individuals in SNS use specific cues and elements of interaction alongside strategies of URT to predict their behavior.

Finally, we will investigate how online dating sites like eHarmony integrate scientific principles of communication and how well they apply to URT. A general view of the process of meeting individuals and how communication is facilitated will be offered by the eHarmony website eHarmony, N.

This will allow us to analyze exactly how applicable URT is to CMC settings and how well the dating service tailors to the different context of communication. Furthermore, we will look at case studies specific to online dating sites like Match.

com and eHarmony. Gibbs will provide an in-depth study of Match. com members to show that in an online setting, members tend to practice similar uncertainty reduction strategies in anticipation of a FtF meeting. Specifically, what strategies are mostly utilized and what cues are critical to the overall interaction.

In meeting new people FtF, we tend to engage in behaviors that reduce our uncertainty about the other person. This original URT was supplemented by Berger by including that humans tend to reduce uncertainty by utilizing one or all of the three strategies: passive, active and interactive Dawkins, , p.

Of the strategies listed, observing others where the person is likely to act natural is passive while being in direct contact with them is active Twente, N.

An interactive strategy, however, includes communicating with the person directly in an effort to find out more about the person. The interactive strategy of engaging in information seeking behavior is by far the most important aspect of reducing uncertainty.

This means that as we meet new people, we want to find out more about them to reduce our uncertainty about them. However, studies suggest that we are also hesitant to divulge personal information about ourselves so easily.

This means that as we are looking for information about others, we tend to only divulge information at the same rate as other people do in FtF communication. This would make sense as we tend to fear judgment by other people that we do not know as well. There also exist some demographic differences in URT. According to William Gudykunst and Mitchell Hammer in The Influence of Ethnicity, Gender, and Dyadic Composition on Uncertainty Reduction In Initial Interactions, there were differences among blacks and whites in their communicative behavior.

Moreover, their results did not suggest that gender played a role in using uncertainty reduction strategies Gudykunst, , p. This means that men and women tend to act similarly in reducing uncertainty in social situations.

Essentially, the URT strategy of information seeking was higher in those that were more self-conscious of their behavior. Other than that, ethnicity and gender did not affect URT in the FtF context that the study was researched within. Next, it is important to understand the early schools of thought and development of online communication. His literature review argued that this was true because people within CMC settings exert more verbal aggression, blunt disclosure and negative behavior in comparison to groups in FtF settings Parks, , p.

Despite the negative feedback from other scholars, Parks found evidence that online relationships can develop and people can adapt their behavior to account for the missing aspects of interaction, like physical proximity and frequency. For instance, even in early as , Parks argued that online settings can foster the growth of meaningful relationships, despite the shortcomings of missing cues in FtF communication.

Even more surprising is the notion that the relationships that developed online tended to expand to FtF communication over time:. Although nearly all respondents used direct E-mail About a third had used the telephone The average number of channels used was 2. These findings imply that relationships that begin on line rarely stay there Parks, , p. This research implies that even as early in , the internet and CMC did foster the development of new relationships that eventually extended out of the scope of online interaction.

This had a lot to do with how users managed uncertainty with the tools they had. Since visual and aural cues were not always present, the use of smileys and other improvised cues were used to develop rapport with other individuals Parks, , p. Essentially, the way that people communicated online in involved an adaptation of visual cues to textual ones. By , the growth of online dating sites resulted in services that were tailored specifically to meet the needs to people looking to find relationships online.

These services were designed to facilitate, foster and encourage the growth of successful relations that extended outside of CMC. Her study of college students suggested that URT did apply cohesively in this CMC setting: users who interacted a lot tended to experience less uncertainty Sheldon, , p. Indeed, from to , not much has changed in terms of what is possible within the realm of CMC. While users can share photos, videos and other forms of multimedia, the factors of proximity and physical cues are still not there.

Essentially, CMC settings are successful in fostering relationships because visual cues are not requirements of interaction and when they are necessary, textual cues were seen to be comparable alternatives. Facebook relationships thrive on the level of intimacy within self-disclosure. This means that the more we disclose to others in terms of quality, not so much quality, the more meaningful the relationship becomes.

This supports URT because as we disclose more and trust others, we develop stronger relationships. As we develop stronger online relationships, we reduce the overall uncertainty about the other person. Thus, interactions on Facebook appear more like FtF communication than meets the eye. As predictability was also a critical aspect of URT, the evidence would suggest that CMC relationships that developed on Facebook took on the same conventional characteristics of FtF interactions.

Consequently, while the context for communication is entirely different in an online setting, the means and social processes involved in developing friendships was still consistent. However, it is important to understand that Facebook offers an environment where we tend to know most of our connections in person, see their pictures and have the ability to seek out information and context clues from their activity.

Therefore, it is also important to study how URT and the strategies apply in CMC when we do not necessarily know or have existing FtF relationships with the other person. Such a case study is other online dating sites. eHarmony offers a great example to understand how URT applies to a CMC setting where users may not know their connections very well. Neil Warren utilized his 35 years of clinical experience to launch a service that would utilize scientific research on CMC to help people develop meaningful relationships in a safe environment eHarmony, N.

Essentially, the important aspects of information seeking behavior are met with this guided communication. Users can browse profiles based on relevant criteria and a controlled communication environment is there to carefully foster interaction, if any. Luckily, research has been done on behalf of online dating sites to analyze CMC in online dating communities.

In this comprehensive study of respondents who use at least one online dating site such as eHarmony or Match. com , Gibbs sought to identify if URT strategies were utilized and if so, which ones. Even more interesting is the issue of privacy and security. Gibbs remarked that security issues were the most important factor that influenced uncertainty reduction behaviors Gibbs et al, , p.

Basically, the extent to which URT applied to the results was based on security issues. As users were concerned with who they were communicating with, they engaged in more information seeking strategies. There were also other notable results.

In addition to information seeking behavior, users also tended to utilize warranting reducing uncertainty and overcoming security concerns.

About the Authors. Some dating sites have defended the costs they enroll to the users by noting they always include the charges quotation on the terms and conditions on the site, but many users do not take time to read terms and conditions section. Free Money For College! Additionally, when data is shared on the dating sites they are stored permanently, thus despite an individual deleting the profile, the information is still kept in the company database for future reference Fiore. Therefore, a person may be hoping and wishing to get the perfect match online but instead may be hooked up with a scammer whose intent is to cause damage to the individual. Ultius Blog, 24 Apr.

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